grow through what you go through

before you go any further, I know this is cliche, ok? its the week of thanksgiving and I’m writing about being thankful for things…come on allison you’re better than that! but here’s the thing, there’s been a lot of stuff going on lately, I lot of big changes, and it’s really been kind of a reflective month for me. so ’tis the season I guess?

I recently finished Jana Kramer’s memoir, The Next Chapter (which I plan to have a separate post about), but I think that is really what kickstarted all of these life thoughts for me. I know everyone always says that they are thank for their family, friends, health, etc. but I’m going to dive a little bit deeper than that. but in no particular order…

the snooze button

I know that some people say that it’s not good to hit the snooze button, but I am NOT those people. there is quite literally nothing better than knowing I have an extra 7 minutes to be curled up in bed with my dog. and before you say “just set your alarm for 7 minutes later” just stop. no. its not the same.

the first (or second, third and fourth) cup of coffee in the morning

if I could, I would spend the first couple hours of my day with an IV drip of coffee. after I take that first sip in the morning while I’m blogging, or reading, or just catching up on all things social media, I feel like Im ready to conquer the world.

a great hair day

some of you might think this is crazy… but if you’re anything like me you know exactly what I’m talking about. whether its pin straight, a little wavy, just the right amount of curl, a cute ponytail or the perfect “messy” bun, nothing makes you feel more like a bad ass bitch than a great hair day. you can’t convince me otherwise.

therapy

you should’ve seen this coming. i’ve learned so much about myself in the last year and a half. some good, some bad, some scary and some very sad. learning about myself has also allowed me to learn how and why I behave certain ways, how to change some of those behaviors, how to grow them, transform them and use them to my advantage. therapy has also made me realize I am thankful for things I never thought I would be.

to have had love, both new and old

this is a loaded one. I have a LOT to be thankful for when it comes to this little four letter word. this might sound a little strange but, I’m thankful for all of the love that i’ve lost. I’m thankful for it because it taught me how I need/want to be loved, it taught me how to be a better partner, how to accept love from people and how to be happy in love. I’m thankful for new love because it makes me excited for the future. it makes me excited to wake up every day and be the best version of myself.

my anxiety

having anxiety is part of the reason i’ve learned so much about myself. it is part of what prompted me to find a therapist. working on my anxiety has taught me different coping/ground strategies, and it’s helped me prepare myself for future situations.

learning from my mistakes

it has been a privilege for me to be able to do this. being able to comprehend where I went wrong, or just what went wrong in general and how to never ever repeat them.

my people

you know who you are. without you, I wouldn’t be half the person I am today. I’m thankful for the amount of times you’ve all answered the phone, consoled me, given me advice, supported me, talked me off the ledge (multiple times), and for all of the love you’ve shown me.

laughter

whether i’m the one that’s laughing, or whether I’m making other people laugh, there is no better feeling. think about the time you’ve laughed the hardest, and then try to think of a feeling that is better than that…

the gym, and the ability to workout

does it take me a lot to get to the gym? yes, some days are hard then others. the only thing that is constant is the way I feel once I get there. the adrenaline rush, being able to push your body to its limits, the sweat, the aching in your muscles the next day.

finding the strength to walk away

whew. this is a big one. this is something I think about every second. of every. single. day. I look at myself in the mirror and I remember who I used to be. I remember the thoughts that used to consume me. I remember the pit in my stomach imaging the rest of my life. I remember wishing I wouldn’t wake up. but then, I walked away. I somehow managed to walk away from the toxicity that was my life. and now I look at my life, and the people in it and I am filled with an immense amount of joy. I think about my future and i’m giddy. i’m excited every day when I wake up. I think about how lucky I am to have the things that I do, and to the love the people I love. I look in the mirror and thank god that I am not the person I used to be.

being able to choose myself

for as long as I could remember I never did anything for myself. in fact, I was so used to doing everything for everyone else, that the thought of doing something for me scared the hell out of me. choosing myself and putting myself first hasn’t been easy. its been a constant internal battle. but its a battle I am proud of winning everyday.

books (obviously)

If you know me you’re probably surprised it took me this long to get to this one. Im thankful for the way the stories in books make me feel. I’m thankful I am able to feel the things I feel. I am thankful for the escape from reality, and the lessons they’ve taught me.

boundaries

this is a recent addition to the list. they are something I am still working on making, and still working on implementing on a day-to-day basis. but they’ve saved me on more than one occasion. I’m thankful for the level of protection they offer to my mental health.

my job

I told you i’d stay away from the cliches. but this isn’t what you think. I’m not thankful for my job because it provides a paycheck. I’m thankful for my job because it has taught me how to stand up for myself and what I believe in. I’m thankful for my job because I get to help people every day. I’m thankful for my job because it brought a whole lot of love and light into my life when I needed it the most.

learning to say no

this has saved me from so much unnecessary stress. the people pleaser part of me needs to do everything for everyone, and be everywhere all of the time. however, i’ve learned that for me, its not sustainable. I need to focus on myself and choose myself in order to maintain healthy relationships with everyone in my life. I’m thankful that I’ve been able to do this without the abundant amount of guilt that used to come with it.

hitting rock bottom

everyones “rock bottom” is different. it’s subjective. for me, 2021-2022 was rock bottom. looking back, I’m thankful that I was at such a low place at one point. being there and feeling the feelings that accompany it, has made the good times feel that much better. I’m thankful for being able to enjoy and celebrate the little moments. you have to get through the lowest of lows to appreciate the highest of highs.

the courage to try again

this. I didn’t think i’d be able to find the courage. I’m grateful to have found it, even if it took a lot of digging. trying again, and putting myself back out there, has given me SO much to be thankful for. so much love, so much life, so much happiness and laughter. im thankful I didn’t have to find out where id be without this courage.

all of you.

I’m beyond thankful for all of you. the 1,000s of people who have read this blog. who make it worth coming back and sharing more of me with all of you. I’m thankful for the support, the comments, the criticism. I’m thankful that you’ve taken the time to understand me, and to get to know me a little bit better. I’m thankful that you’ve all given me a platform to express myself and my feelings. I’m thankful you’ve decided to follow along. thank you will never be enough.