grow through what you go through

I used to think that everyone i met would be in my life forever. I had this delusional way of thinking that just because at one point I shared a bond with someone, that it had to be that way forever, no matter what. or that the only thing that could break that bond was some sort of catastrophic event; a huge fight, a breakup, moving across the country. but one of the hardest things that i’ve had to come to terms with is that that’s not always the case. sometimes we just grow apart from people, with no real rhyme or reason.

when I was in high school, I had this amazing core group of friends. we did everything together and I have so many incredible memories with them. do I talk to any of them now? a few. one pretty regularly, some once in a blue moon, and the rest of them not since graduation. when I first started college this devastated me. even within the last couple years it really bothered me. I see people who are still inseparable with their high school friends and I used to think I was doing something wrong because I didn’t have that anymore.

but then I think back to the person I was in high school. I think about what I valued, what I wanted, what I believed and compare that to the person I am now. and it makes sense.

“people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime”

but here’s the thing. sometimes we need to let go of people to make room for new ones. you can’t force someone to be in your life if they don’t fit. ya know? and why would you want that?

while this is something i’ve really struggled with trying to wrap my head around, i’ve realized that i’ve been BEYOND blessed for the people i’ve met in the last 28 years. has there been people that I thought i’d grow old with who I don’t talk to anymore? absolutely yes. has there been people that I thought I shared this incredible bond with but found of they felt differently? unfortunately yes. has there been people who I thought I wouldn’t get close to who I now can’t imagine my life without? of course. but that’s the beauty of this. and let me tell you why.

that person i met in pre-school or elementary school. the one i used to talk about growing up with, and being best friends forever. the same one who i wouldn’t even recognize if i ran into them tomorrow. they taught me how to think outside the box. how to make life my playground, and enjoy the little things.

the people I was friends with in middle school, who moved away, went to different high schools. the ones who I have fond memories of but only see if I happen to run into them. they were the people who were there for a lot of my firsts. my first break up, the first time I thought I loved someone, my first period (sorry guys), my first school dance and the first time I encountered the “mean girls’.

the people I mentioned earlier in high school, the ones who have all grown up now, started their careers, gotten married, moved away, etc. they were the people that cheered me on. they were the people who came to all of the volleyball and softball games and were the loudest ones in the stands. the ones I went to prom with, applied to college with. they were the ones who stood by my side when the rest of the school boo-ed me at our senior dinner.

the people I met in college, the ones who became my ride or dies. the ones who picked every single piece of me up when I lost my dad. the ones that were with me the first time I got drunk (oops). the ones that stayed up all night studying with me. the ones that I spent every summer with at orientation. the ones who taught me how to be professional, kind, and compassionate. the ones who showed me unconditional love.

the people I met outside of school, at softball. these girls. I couldn’t even tell you where half of them are in the world right now. but what I can tell you, is that these were my first real friends. they were my first genuine, true best friends. we grew up together, on and off the softball diamond. we spent every weekend together from may-august. we traveled together, we won together, and we lost together.

the people I met at work, the ones who I used to think were just “co-workers”. these are the ones who proved me wrong. your co-workers can ABSOLUTELY be some of your best friends. these are some the ones who quite literally dragged me through the last year. the ones who got the brunt of all of my anger and sadness. the ones who had faith in me from day one. and who I know, that no matter what, will always be in my corner.

the people who don’t fit into any of the above categories, the ones who I met through a friend, on accident, or however you came into my life. they are the people that even without knowing my history, or what i’ve been through, still have played even a small part in the person and friend that I am today.

do I talk to all of these people still? no. am I friends with all of these people still? no. but not because there was that catastrophic event that I thought there had to be. but because people grow up. people are meant for certain times in your life. with life, comes change and growth, and with that change and growth some people may not fit where they once used to. its okay. this isn’t a bad thing. one of the most important things I’ve learned is that you need to surround yourself with people who align with the values you have right now. just because not everyone can align with those, doesn’t take away from the friendship or relationship you once had with them. because without them, you wouldn’t be who you are today.

i’ve outgrown a lot of the people i’ve met in my life and it used to break my heart to think about. if the last year has taught me anything, its that no one comes into your life by chance. they come into your life when you need them to, your paths crossed for a reason. some will stay and others will go, but that doesn’t need to diminish the meaning they had while they were here.

• growing’ up and getting’ old: luke combs
• happiness: taylor swift
• long live: taylor swift
• bridesmaids: kylie morgan
• I hope you dance: lee ann womack
• house party: sam hunt
• mean: taylor swift
• ill be there for you:
• I love you bitch: lizzo
• best friend: saweetie (ft. doja cat)
• fast car: tracy chapman (but also luke combs)

• the perks of being a wallflower: stephen chbosky
• maybe in another life: taylor jenkins reid
• the summer I turned pretty (the series): jenny han
• in five years: rebecca serle
• a little life: hanya yanagihara
• the sisterhood of the traveling pants: ann brashares